第十一章 卫生间有鬼(下)(1 / 2)

    一看胖子那个热乎劲儿,我以为他又碰到熟人了,遂扭头往身后瞅,想招呼着一块儿来凑局儿,可我回过头,但见一群饮食男女或放浪形骸或推杯换盏或吆五喝六,压根就没有一个人正眼瞧过汪一飞。

    “衙内,你丫喝魔怔了是吧,又调戏哪个良家妇女呢?”  我呵呵大笑,心说老话果然不假,十个胖子九个骚,一个不骚大酒包。

    可汪一飞倒很一阵正经,居然还激动地站了起来,撸胳膊挽袖子的,好像要和谁掐架的架势:“我操,把你那jb爪子拿开,人家一女孩子,你他妈别打人家主意。”

    一看汪一飞那急赤白脸的揍性,我心说这是和谁呀,难不成是看见他马子和别人厮混呢?再回头一看,呦嗬,果不其然,在距离我们这桌不远的另一桌,几名打扮得很潮的青少年正围着烤盘大快朵颐,其中一名脑袋染得跟鹦鹉似的男孩搂着一名挺漂亮的女孩旁若无人的卿卿我我,那女孩画着很浓的烟熏妆,但依然掩盖不住苍白的面色。

    不过,别看那女孩病病恹恹的,可喝起啤酒来很豪放,一杯接一杯的。看着那几个自以为率性、潇洒的青少年,我不禁一声叹息,现在这些少男少女,似乎总喜欢以糟蹋自己身体来显示个性,昼夜泡吧、通宵k歌、狂欢滥饮,却不知身体早已严重透支,二十岁的外表,五十岁的心脏,喝凉酒,睡凉炕,早晚都是病啊。

    我正胡思乱想,就见胖子越来越躁狂,竟然奔那名病态少女冲了过去:“你他妈给我过来,瞅谁呢,就说你呢。”冷丁看见一胖子跟吴老二似的跌跌撞撞的奔自己而来,那那几名潮流青少年先是一愣,而后呼啦一下子就将胖子围上了。

    也难怪,这几位正是青春逼人的年纪,过剩的荷尔蒙勾兑沸腾的热血,那得多冲(东北方言:chong,四声,有劲儿,劲头猛)啊,没事还想找事呢,何况胖子还是当着女人的面挑衅他们,这可不正是一犯困  就有人递枕头吗?其中刚才那个搂着女孩小腰可紧摇的鹦鹉更是怒不可遏,一张嘴就挺江湖:“有钱不代表有道,有名不代表有号,你他妈嘎哈的,喝点xiao  bi酒跟我们玩社会呢?”“草,别他妈跟他废话,直接废了这个瘪犊子得了。”另几个少男手抄烟灰缸、椅子,已是摩拳擦掌,跃跃欲试。

    眼看胖子要吃亏,我是连连叫苦,本来就想找个人喝喝小酒吹吹牛逼,没曾想这倒霉催的胖子偏偏是一酒闹儿,到哪儿都生事儿,早知道这样还不如在建兴继续听黎叔的单口相声呢。再说了,就这些二十左右岁的小崽子,那才生性呢,下手黑,不顾及后果,大流氓一般都不敢跟他们壳(东北方言:叫板),何况是这一肚子地沟油的死胖子。

    “对不起对不起,我这哥们喝多了,你们别和他一般见识啊。”见势头不好,我赶紧从吧台拎了兜啤酒过去打圆场,“这兜酒是给哥几个赔不是的,对不住了啊,哈哈哈……”

    “滚ji  ba蛋,谁一脚没踩住,把你露出来了,跑这装大尾巴鹰来了,再他妈得瑟连你一块削(东北方言:打)。”

    “不是,你们之间是不是认识啊?有啥误会唠开就完了呗。”其实啊,当时我的心理活动是:他们之间不外是争风吃醋,彼此不过就是需要一个台阶下,我这么一说,估计都能就坡下驴,毕竟是和谐社会,都知道冲动挺费电的,犯的着吗?

    可是,他大爷的,理想是情人,现实是**,理想总是很美好,现实总是很残忍,我正嘚喯嘚喯的给两头说和、感觉自己跟春秋战国的纵横家似的,不知是对面哪个孙子,嘴里蹦出句“不是社会人,你他妈还净唠社会嗑”,紧接着大嘴巴子给他妈不要钱似的,“呱唧”一下就呼在了我脸上,卧槽,哥们当时就眼冒金星,耳朵里嗡嗡直响,跟他妈有音乐盒伴奏似的,与此同时,脑海里再次响起了那首脍炙人口的歌声:一闪一闪亮晶晶,满天都是小星星……

    我问候你全家啊,太他妈不社会了,闹着玩儿咋还下死手啊,我靠,鼻血都飙出来了。

    一看我吃了亏,汪一飞他娘的真爷们,那表现绝对让黎叔汗死,就见他“嗷”的一声,那声绝对跟过年杀猪场的动静一样,都炸音儿了:“我操你大爷的,xiaobi崽子,玩真的是吧?”说着,胖子一个闪身,一拳,就一拳,就把那偷袭我的小子打得蹲在地上哇哇吐。

    接下来的事儿我不说大伙也都能猜到了,混战呗。

    要说我真看走眼了,这胖子看着跟帝企鹅似的,可身手真不是盖的,一个人对付三四的生牤子(东北方言:原指刚出生的小牛,后来用于形容体格好、有力气的半大小子),虽说也是满脑袋包,可硬是不落下风,一双拳头舞得是虎虎生风,我日,跟他妈电影《烈火金刚》里史更新肉搏日本大兵似的,太尿性了嘿,要不他怎么老想签约黑社会呢。

    噢,这位看官您问我当时干嘛呢,怎么就胖子一人在那玩儿“植物大战僵尸”啊,那啥,那啥,其实我也没闲着,我啊,我练得是地躺拳,一直在地上躺着呢。本来我真往上冲了。因为打小在东北长大,而这地界民风实在太霸道,不管体格强弱,一言不合,操家伙就敢干,我耳濡目染的,也多少沾染了这种习性,看见打架手也痒痒,加之又吃了暗亏,也激了,舞着王八拳就上去了,结果胖子一脚给我踹一边去:“别他妈跟着添乱,我还得分神照顾你。”

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