第22章 活下去的理由(2 / 2)

烽火逃兵 小知闲闲 0 字 2021-09-27

被经过的骡马大车挤靠,苏青踉跄着跌倒在泥坑里,还是那件泥污的素灰色旗袍,现在上身多穿了一件村里找的破旧大外套。爬出泥坑重新站起来,却传来一阵刺痛,几乎再次跌倒,一截弯曲的树根別伤了苏青细嫩的脚踝。

这一切没能阻止她前进,抬起满是泥垢的纤手,拭去腮边的污汗,继续蹒跚着向前挪动。尽管身上带了十几块大洋,但情况和苏青想象的不同,在这里没有人会为了大洋而放弃食物,苏青不知道虚弱的自己还能向前走多远,也许能再坚持一天,然后像许多人一样,再也爬不起来,也成为泥泞里的一具尸体。

但是苏青没后悔,从加入组织的时候就有这个觉悟,准备好了牺牲。珍藏的贞洁被一个卑鄙无耻的逃兵夺走了,这在她心里刻下一道深深伤口,却没能击垮苏青的意志,反而激发了她倔强的性格。她还有信念,支撑着她前进,文件必须交给组织!

嗡——飞机的阴影出现在远方天空,嗡鸣声预示着瘟疫的来临。原本缓慢的人流猛地慌乱开来,不顾一切地冲撞着,踩踏着,尖叫着,哀嚎着,随即被爆炸声掩盖。

蹒跚的苏青再次被汹涌的惊慌人流撞倒,剧烈的疼痛使她没能再站起来,只能侧向蜷起双腿,坐在污泥里,不甘的回过头,看着低空里的钢铁怪物,怪啸着飞过来,两翼不停的闪着火舌,顺着人流打出两排连绵血雾,越来越近,越来越清晰……

惊恐的百姓根本不知道如何躲避这个会飞的死神,只是抱着头顺路向前猛跑。没经历过飞机扫射的士兵只是就地趴下卧倒,意识不到自己是否在飞机的飞行路径上。那两条死亡的飞行射击线肆意顺着人流延伸,收割着麻木的灵魂,得意地制造出一路惨嚎。

从听到飞机的声音那一刻起,胡义的头就猛地疼起来,周围又开始变得灰暗,失去了颜色,脑袋里就像翻江倒海。停下脚步,站在铁轨间的枕木上,盯着飞机接近。它会从路基下的人流头上飞过,所以胡义没有跟随人群慌张躲避,就站在高高的铁路路基上,麻木地看着周围这荒诞的灰色风景。

在一个瞬间,胡义的眼神定住了。泥泞的人流中,蜷坐着一个陌生而又熟悉的美丽身影,那散乱的齐颈短发曾经顺滑,那沾染了泥污的清秀面容曾经白皙,那如水的黑色深瞳曾经在自己的眼前悲伤地哭泣,此刻却释放出倔强与不甘,静静望向死神来临的方向。隔着疾奔的人群缝隙,形成一幅不停闪烁的画面,断断续续地映入细狭的眼帘,一遍又一遍地冲击着胡义的心。胡义有生以来第一次发现自己的心居然也会变得脆弱,变得不堪一击,再掺进一份愧疚,立刻就破碎了。

时间似乎静止了,胡义却在静止中清醒了,不再觉得麻木。原本漫无目的的心,终于看到了方向。无论她是谁,她都已经是我的女人,无论她愿不愿意,她已经是我的女人。我不只是一个逃兵,我也是一个男人。

人们说爱情是个很复杂的东西,也许是,也许不是,谁知道呢。在命运多舛的烽火岁月,在这个冰冷麻木的灰色世界,在胡义这颗多年漂泊的心里,他以为这就是爱情,至少他那颗麻木的心已经碎了。也许是因为愧疚,也许是因为生理本能,无所谓,至少胡义为自己重新找到了一个应该活下去的理由。

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