第1267章碰瓷(1 / 2)

狐鸦小传 玄变 0 字 2022-02-19

下地府,送狄仁杰去见阎罗王,期间乌鸦和小狐狸多次讨要赏钱,可惜没人搭理他们,俩人只能骂骂咧咧走出。

“阎大爷真抠!”鸟人骂道,“连一块愿力石都不给,真抠!”

“是啊!太抠了!”秋千骂道,“等着!等哪天找到机会,一定要报今日没得钱之仇!”

俩流氓吊儿郎当地走在酆都城,周围的鬼差、判官都躲着他们,生怕这父女讹人,明明是拥挤的地方,偏偏他们所在地方特宽松,真不知是该说二人“威名远扬”还是“恶名太盛”。走着走着,前面来了两个大鬼,乃鬼差总头目范无救和谢必安,这两位不怕乌鸦和小狐狸,一个笑呵呵一个严肃地走到近前打招呼。

“鸟人老弟,秋千,办完差了?”谢必安大概是听说了玉氏父女接引狄仁杰的任务,有些玩笑地说,“想来凭鸟人老弟的手段,即便是瑶池也不敢扣下人吧?”说到这,白无常还特意对小狐狸说,“特别是有秋千在,瑶池定然恐惧秋千的无敌幻术威能。咱们地府能有秋千这么强的人,真是天道保佑呀。”

乌鸦和小狐狸正找不到人哭诉呢,刚好和两个大鬼说说委屈,“接引狄仁杰没问题,但阎大爷不给钱。啧啧啧,抠!真抠!太抠了……”

四个鬼差一边说话一边往外走,很快来到一个僻静处,谢必安和范无救也不知哪来的兴致,拿出哭丧棒,要与乌鸦和小狐狸比试一番。要说那黑白哭丧棒,别看有些粗糙,却也是天道法宝:黑白两根棍,赏罚在阴阳,抚得善鬼笑,打得恶鬼嚎,一棒三魂痛,两棒七魄欢,魂痛思罪过,魄欢心多安。

“鸟人老弟,秋千,比划比划?”谢必安笑道,“可别瞧不起我们哦,我二人上次转世尘凡也练得一身武艺,不动用法术你们可不一定打得过我们。”

“哎呀哈!叫板是不?”秋千早就想炫耀自己的水月剑,但找不到机会,听到黑白无常这么讲,大喜,“来呀!黑哥,白哥,打一架呀!”

“那叫切磋,不叫打架。”鸟人也是个爱显摆的人,立马唤出云烟枪,“两位大哥,输的话你们可不能扣我们工资哦。”乌鸦对自己的枪法还是蛮自信的。

黑白大鬼互看一眼,神秘地笑了笑,说道:“来吧!”

没什么废话,乌鸦和小狐狸纵身跃起,一个执剑劈砍,一个执枪突刺,直奔黑白鬼王。鸟人和秋千很了解黑白无常,知道他们武艺高强,觉得至少也得打个几百上千招才能分出胜负。尤其是秋千,她那三脚猫的功夫恐怕打不过两个大鬼。然而……

“哎呀!”才刚刚与玉氏父女对上一招,黑白无常突然摔倒在地上。谢必安高声叫喊,“救命呀!打死人……不对,打死鬼呀!救命呀!玉鸟人、玉秋千行凶呀!快来人呀!”

“???”乌鸦父女没弄清楚怎么回事儿,愣在当场。

随着白无常高呼,原本没什么鬼影的地方突然窜出许多大鬼,百大判官外加二十个鬼君近卫判官都来到了,众人怒指乌鸦和小狐狸,“呔!玉鸟人,玉秋千,你们做什么!为什么要伤害黑白无常两位大人!”

“啊?!”鸟人和秋千都懵了,“不是~什么呀?什么伤害黑白无常?什么呀~我们在比武呢。谢哥,范哥,你们起来呀,怎么就突然倒地上了,我们也没伤到你们呀。来来来,赶紧起来,看看大家都误会了。”

乌鸦和小狐狸上手就要去扶两个鬼王,但白无常却高喊:“别碰我们!我们受伤了!重伤!鸟人,秋千,你们下手太狠了!我们受了很严重的内伤!你们躲远点,别碰我们!哎呀,救命呀……”

“哪~就内伤呀!”秋千喊道,“你们这不是碰瓷嘛!”终日打鸟却被雀儿啄瞎了眼睛,小狐狸这辈子都没想到自己也有被讹的一天,“你们不能这样呀!不能诬赖我们呀!”

“哪是诬赖!”众鬼高喊,“这里只有你们,除了你们,还能是谁伤了两位大人呀!就是你们!我们都是人证!”

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