第二十九章:补课的乐趣(1)(2 / 2)

凡人而 1295 字 11个月前

跨过每个水坑泛起涟漪像在迎风跳着舞,

初春的花季开始滋养荆棘,

沉闷的雨点像是每天临走前妈妈聒噪的叮嘱,

于是他把书包塞满糖果,

尽管他也不懂为何见到陌生人要绕着走,

雨后阳光洒进教室的门口,

月季花的香味总是伴随上课铃声如约而至,

青春期的少年很懵懂,

有时聊的话题会让彼此忍不住地面红耳赤,

台上认真讲课的老师,

是他心中最崇拜和背后默默仰望的对象,

他觉得老师眼睛里有光,

当视线交汇时他暗淡的世界也会亮,

可当他褪下衣服看向眼里布满了惊恐,

当他浑身上下都被粗暴地亲吻,

当他感受到的痛楚开始变冰冷,

那些大人嘴里晦涩的话他还没听懂,

他曾说想成为老师这样的人等他长大,

他问为什么要,

当乐园开始崩塌,

看那片泛起涟漪的水已经汇聚成汹涌的波浪,

当自尊心和羞耻已经被恐惧感用力地撕裂,

含苞待放的花朵被暴风雨肆虐,

看红了双眼变得贪婪和嗜血,

他说乖欢迎来到属于大人的世界,

当欲望与罪恶如飞蛾般扑火,

摧毁他原本的轮廓,

那新生的枝叶已暴露出腐烂的骨朵,

花语是失声与沉默,

花瓣洒落了一地,

褪去鲜红的痕迹,

周围冰冷的空气,

对我没有任何期许,

雨点刷呀刷不清,

化作淤血和污泥,

就让昨夜的孤星,

伴我随风而去,

他是枯萎的树是俘虏是被捕杀的猎物,

是腐烂的花在寒冬里凋落,

他是碎的泥土是剧毒是发了霉的抹布,

是他们嘴里不干净的,

他们站得高总习惯对弱者妄加评判,

在别人苦难面前自命不凡,

可每当提到,

他们总是选择低头避而不谈,

他开始闻到自己身上散发出了刺鼻的臭味,

却怎么用力洗也洗不掉,

就像是流言刻在他背后刺眼的标签和后缀,

始终如影随形取也取不下,

璀璨的灵魂已死,

空洞的躯体法辩驳自己并非他们口中所描述的坏,

最让他羞于启齿,

是旁观者的流言蜚语撕开他的伤疤定义成畸形的爱,

或许那天他更乖一点就好了,

都怪他穿得少了,

他被抚摸的时候不该那么吵的,

他已经陷入沼泽,

心不痛也不痒了,

声嘶力竭的叫喊如今不声也不响了,

当恶意与伤害被内疚感魅惑,

粉饰成荒谬的诡辩,

被凌辱而绽放的花朵也早已经褪色,

花语是凋落与毁灭,

花瓣洒落了一地,

褪去鲜红的痕迹,

周围冰冷的空气,

对我没有任何期许,

雨点刷呀刷不清,

化作淤血和污泥,

就让昨夜的孤星,

伴我随风而去。

后来怡婷在日记里读到这一段,思琪写了:“其实我第一次想到死的时候就已经死了。人生如衣物,如此容易被剥夺。”

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