第五十四章 这是一个很严肃而纠结的问题,别笑……(2 / 2)

死神之狂徒 王筱蛟 0 字 2021-03-17

厕所门崩的稀碎,根据这地缚灵回忆,旁边的马桶都崩了,还溅了他一脸屎……</p>

“哈?”</p>

听完这一段极为凄惨的故事,彪哥都傻了:“也就是说,这里着火了,你还坐在这马桶之上没跑,然后被活活烧死了?”</p>

“嗯!”这地缚灵一脸丧气的点了点头。</p>

“……”</p>

吴彪都无语了,过了半响他才一脸异样的道:“那你干嘛不跑,纵火犯进来的时候你倒是跑啊。或者他倒汽油的时候,你出来直接干死他啊!”</p>

“你知道个屁啊!”</p>

地缚灵男子直接窜了起来,脸红脖子粗的瞪着吴彪喊道:“你知道当时是什么情形嘛?厕所门口,厕所外面都TM围满了群众和记者!”</p>

“这管你屁事啊?”彪哥迷茫眨眼。</p>

地缚灵男子脸一红:“因为……我没穿内裤!”</p>

“这怎么了嘛?”</p>

“也没带纸,这厕所里纸也用完了,再加上我正在畅快无比的窜稀,跟撒尿一样,憋都憋不住…”地缚灵男子叹了口气。</p>

“所以我当时犹豫了,如果我就这么跑出去,没有内裤遮挡,这么白的大裤衩子绝对会被染的暗黄。记者也绝对会给我拍照,然后明天的新闻就会变成‘纵火犯闯入厕所,一男子边跑边窜稀’,下面附着一张我的飞奔而逃的照片!”</p>

“从那以后,我就会活在家人、朋友、公司、甚至大街上的行人异样眼光中,这一辈子可以说都别想抬起头了!”</p>

“……”吴彪。</p>

“当然,主要也是我压根没想到……那个放火的傻逼竟然会滑到在地上。等火烧起来,我在想跑也晚了,已经无处可逃了!”</p>

“嗯……”吴彪点了点头,很是怜悯的看了一眼这哥们:“行,我明白了,你说说还有啥心愿没,我帮你完成了,瘴气消除后赶紧去尸魂界把现世记忆抹除吧。”</p>

“心愿?”</p>

地缚灵闻言明显愣了一下,随即一脸渴望的看着吴彪。</p>

“你给我找点手纸,帮我把屁股擦一下行不,我摸不到手纸……”</p>

吴彪闻言沉默了两秒,随即直接拽过地缚灵的脖领:“老子能把你脑袋拧下来你信不!”</p>

“……”地缚灵男子。</p>

“那你能不能帮我想一个问题。”</p>

吴彪闻言愣了一下,脸上布满了犹豫之色,过了半响才小声道:“你先说说看,我可告诉你,小学三年级以上的加减法别问我,乘除法更别提,敢提老子直接把你扔地狱里去!”</p>

“呃……”地缚灵男子先是用一个加长的‘呃’表示了一下自己的无语,随即用极其诡异的目光看了彪哥半响,一直看到彪哥铮亮脑门泛起青筋,他才急忙收回目光将想要问的问题给问了出来。</p>

“我就想问一下,我做的对不对,你说‘纵火犯闯入厕所,一男子边跑边窜稀’和‘纵火犯闯入厕所,一男子逃跑不及命丧火海’这两条头版新闻,究竟选择哪个比较好?”</p>

“我都想了十几年了,我当时到底是该提裤子就跑,还是应该想办法止住窜稀然后在跑,这个问题纠结了我十几年。”</p>

“到底是成为全世界的笑柄,后半辈子都抬不起头,照片流传在各大网站、交友平台;还是让自己死的像男人一点,顶天立地,哪怕死了也不会让家人丢脸!”</p>

“所以我这些年来,蹲在这马桶上面,不停思考着这个问题。究竟是丢一辈子人,苟延残喘的活着正确。还是当一回男人,就这么死掉正确!”</p>

“卧槽,这还用想?”</p>

彪哥很是鄙夷的看了一眼地缚灵男子:“当然是当个男人了,大老爷们让人用异样眼光看一辈子,还不如死了呢。如果是彪哥,我绝对……”</p>

“真的嘛?”</p>

没等吴彪说完,地缚灵男子就一脸狂喜的扑了上来,拽着吴彪的手兴奋喊道:“果然,我就说自己当初的选择没有错啊。现如今网络多发达呢,如果传出去什么照片,那绝对是分分钟被传遍全世界啊,我死的不憋屈,一点不憋屈!”</p>

地缚灵男子说完,满脸感激的看着吴彪,眼泪都流了下来:“谢谢你,实在是太谢谢你了!”话语间,只见一缕瘴气直接从他的灵魂深处飘了出来,然后融入了吴彪的体内!</p>

随即,地缚灵男子身躯渐渐变淡,直接消失在了这个厕所单间,成佛去了尸魂界!</p>

吴彪一脸迷茫的挠了挠头,随即将没说完的话说了出来。</p>

“如果是彪哥,我绝对提上裤子,捂着脸往外狂奔,反正同样身形的多了……”</p>

。</p>

a</p>

</br></p>

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