【900】断末奥义(1 / 2)

去找焦青青的路上,陆瑟先在企鹅爱心咖啡厅外面,遇上了林琴。

咖啡厅生意尚可,透过玻璃窗,可以看见阿雪和高三打工学姐在咖啡厅里忙来忙去。

于是负责推林琴轮椅的人就变成了莫莉,这也是大胸女仆惯常的工作。

“陆瑟,小佳跟我说你对秃头镜很不满意,是希望得到其他的礼物吗?”

身体斜倚在轮椅上的林琴,以漫不经心且完全无辜的语气问。

“你都故意念成「秃头镜」了,我还能满意吗!”

陆瑟忍不住向对方吐槽。

反正吐槽能量攒多了,也可能因为脑残水后遗症而说错话,不如能吐尽吐。

“我现在忙着没空理你。你等着,等你下次假死以后,我直接把你砌在墙里!”

口出恶言之后陆瑟便要走开,林琴却慢悠悠说道:“嗯,被自觉无望的苦情追求者杀死,也算是一首挺有韵味的谢幕曲了。”

“谁是自觉无望的追求者啊!明明你才是那个被开除出未婚妻位置的人!”

陆瑟这么说仍不解气。

“不要以为你不怕死,就没什么后顾之忧……你死了以后我会收集你的骨头,在外面蒙上硅胶做成娃娃使用的!”

林琴没什么反应,莫莉先浑身打了冷战。

“陆瑟先生,简直比美国的毒贩都可怕……”

林琴却面露不屑。

“为什么不直接防腐来制作呢?你不可能不知道有化学品可以让人体组织橡胶化吧?蒙上硅胶岂不是多此一举?”

莫莉眉头皱得老高。

“林琴小姐也好可怕……这是要陆瑟先生陪着尸体睡吗?”

谁有和女同学的尸体同床共枕的爱好啊!纵然你长得不像马王堆女尸,一想到这个硅胶娃娃是以你为材料制成,我每天晚上都会做恶梦去酆都城自驾游吧!

就在咖啡厅和文化社团大楼的夹角处,陆瑟的视线触及不到的地方,此时却传来了焦青青的笑声。

“科科科科,我用餐刀抹得均匀极了对不对?”

“白、白色的牙膏和糖霜一个样,根本分辨不出来我给你的奥利奥是假的吧?”

“满嘴牙膏感觉如何啊?从今以后你只要一刷牙就会想起这件事哇咔咔……”

焦青青勇于挑战强者,连冬妮海依也敢恶搞,不由得让陆瑟心生几分佩服。

倒是林琴眼角一扫,不感兴趣地让莫莉把自己推走了。

陆瑟狐疑地走过去占据刚才林琴的位置,赫然发现——

焦青青你这不是已经被冬妮海依捉住,按在花坛边的地面上臭揍呢吗!

还以为你恶搞之后功成身退,站在冬妮海依够不到的地方过嘴瘾,没想到已经被揍了只是肉烂嘴不烂啊!

冬妮海依大概是顾及校园里有教委观察小组活动,没有打你的脸,只是用膝盖压住你的后腰,控制住以后捶了几下后肩而已。

看样子即便这样也疼得不轻啊!既然那么疼,就别在腮帮子碰地的情况下还口嗨不止了!换成美国警察的话你早就挨枪子了!

“陆、陆瑟?快来救我!小气鬼冬妮海依开不起玩笑,愚人节遭到恶搞就应该恶搞回来,怎么可以打人呢!”

“今天才3月30号,还不是愚人节呢!”

“临近愚人节的一周都不能放松警惕!是你不够警觉……啊啊啊啊膝盖别用力我的腰要断了!!”

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