众人一看,嚯,闹了半天刚才那几句是开场白啊! 这才上正戏啊! 不过因为开场白的原因,众人也对这个小品有了浓厚的兴趣! 此时张一刚的眼神却是沉了下来! 没道理啊! 不应该啊! 兰姐这个捧哏一看就是练过的,马马虎虎! 但是卓小五这个逗哏不简单啊! 几个包袱抖的太好了啊! 尤其是逗哏许多相声的基本技巧,都需要几年甚至十几年的时间去磨练,可是卓小五才多大啊! 怎么可能用的这么熟练?这么标准? 刚才还认为卓小五是吹牛的张一刚有些不可思议,但还是继续带着审视的眼光看着! 录音室中! 卓小五自然不知道其余人的心里想法,他对着一旁风韵犹存的兰姐说:“兰姐啊,您在电台行业还是在相声行业都算是我的前辈了,所以我想问您一个小问题,您奋斗这些年挣钱了吗?” 兰姐疑惑道:“你要干嘛?” 卓小五耸了耸肩道:“不干嘛,随便问问!” 兰姐道:“反正还行吧!” 卓小五继续说:“那买房了吗?” “买了!” “买车了吗?” “买了!” “买房车了吗?” 刚有些人感觉到有些无趣的时候,这么一个包袱抖出来,让许多人感到捧腹大笑! 艾玛!房车是什么东东啊? 此时兰姐也愣了愣说:“您说的那是卧铺车吧?有一辆!” 卓小五这个时候叹气说:“有吧,那您妻妾成群吧!” “哎哎哎!说什么呢?我是女人!”兰姐连忙拦住! 卓小五也改嘴说:“得,我竟然没看出您是女人来,眼拙了!” “嘿!变着法骂人是不是?”兰姐笑道! 此时外面也全都乐了! 最有素质的李丽红终于忍不住笑出了声! 此时卓小五继续说:“刚才我说错了,您不是妻妾成群!” “那是,我怎么会妻妾成群?”兰姐道! “您肯定是面首三千吧,您真幸福!” 外面的小雯听到这句话,笑的眼泪都出来了! 兰姐很是无语的看着卓小五道:“合着有钱,妻妾成群,面首三千就是你心目中的幸福啊!” 卓小五说:“那当然,记得我大学找了一个女朋友,我对她可好了,不过有一次我请她吃饭坏事了!” 兰姐接道:“饭桌上能出什么事啊?” 卓小五理所当然说:“点菜啊!她要吃大龙虾,我要吃小龙虾,为了显示我爷们儿,我和她吵起来了!” 兰姐乐道:“嘿,你财迷还有脸吵架啊!” 卓小五说:“我当然站起来了,旁边好多人看着我,我一拍桌子对女朋友吼道‘小怎么了?小怎么了?小就不能满足你了吗?’,记得那个时候很多人向我投来异样的目光,然后那姑娘站起来走了!” 这个包袱,让外面所有人都忍不住笑了! 卧槽!绝了! 真特莫绝了! 小怎么了?小怎么了?小就不能满足你了吗? 明天开播后,这句话绝对要火起来的! 此时兰姐无语道:“她竟然没抽你就走了!” 卓小五继续叹了口气说:“后来吧,为了追求我的幸福,我就开始培养我的爱好,最后觉得抽烟挺好!” 兰姐点头说:“嗯,有人喜欢抽烟!” 卓小五嘚瑟说:“那是啊!抽烟对身体有好处啊!” 兰姐懵逼说:“你听谁说的?” 卓小五很自信的说:“烟盒上写的啊!抽烟有害,但是健康,对不对?” 兰姐哑然失笑说:“我就想问您什么学历!” 卓小五干咳两声说:“北大啊,虽然是在梦中!” 兰姐乐了乐说:“哎,知道你读书少,你要读过书就知道那不念但是了!” 卓小五继续说:“后来吧,我看电视上说抽烟容易猝死!” 兰姐点头说:“嗯,电视节目上说的!” 卓小五道:“后来,我在心里琢磨了琢磨,最后觉得可能说的有道理!” 兰姐认同说:“那是!” 卓小五继续说:“从那天起,我一咬牙,一跺脚!” 兰姐诧异的问:“嗯?不抽烟了?” 卓小五认真的说:“我不看那个节目了!” 此时外面全场都乐了! 李丽红捂着小嘴笑了,小雯笑的弯下了腰,梁海也是笑出了声! 行啊! 这卓小五行啊! 还真能讲相声啊! 而且还讲得真不错啊! 此时两人又讲了两句,就收尾了,两人对着镜头躬身一礼,节目录制完毕! 在卓小五和兰姐从录音室走出来之后,就随之响起了震耳般的掌声! 掌声足足响了十几秒,让兰姐都有些诧异,这梁海、李丽红台长都是为自己鼓掌呢? 说实话,她只是配合卓小五,她这个捧哏其实要做的很简单,她刚开始也就觉得段子有些新颖,可是没想到会遭到这样的掌声! “真不错!”李丽红台长对卓小五点头称赞! “好!” “太棒了,没想到我家小五主持是全能型人才啊!” “哈哈!小雯你可别再喊你家小五了,小心丽红台长给你小鞋穿!” “哈哈,兰姐也不错!” “恩恩,都不错!” ...... 兰姐此时只感觉激动啊! 没想到她一个不露脸的播音主持人,也会有一天听到同事这样的掌声和赞美! 以前她学习相声只是被爷爷逼得,现在她是真的爱上了相声! 她没想到自己也能说这么好? 原来都喜欢我说的相声啊! 兰姐激动的都落泪了,她一边擦眼泪一边说:“谢谢大家谢谢大家!” 卓小五也对大家笑着道谢,周围的这些同事都是电视台电台业内的人士,所以能让他们都认为好,那就绝对差不了,这也就证明卓小五赌对了! 这是他那个世界里一部由郭德纲和岳云鹏演讲的《我要幸福》,其中框架是这些,不过中间卓小五还是略微改动了一下,使得节奏变快了些,毕竟这是一个高节奏,快时代的世界! 卓小五这个时候环顾了四周,想看看刚才那个不可一世的张一刚呢,最后才发现....那货早已经灰溜溜的走了!
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